Sudden Desire for Minimalism

So throughout this entire process of changing our lives, creating a life more centered around Christ and His desire for our lives we've found ourselves doing everything possible to simplify in so many ways. The biggest is that we've downsized our home. We had our dream home and it turns out, that dreams when envisioned don't give you all the details and it was actually more of a nightmare. Jason was stuck in his job with no way out, our budget although loser than it ever was in California was still really tight, we couldn't keep the house full enough or clean enough and we felt major guilt every time some one made the comment about how well we must be doing to have such a plush home.

I have always found myself liking things simple. The less detail there is about things the more you are capable of noticing, enjoying, loving, learning and enduring the main focus (sometimes good, sometimes bad). This may have to do a lot with my upbringing and not having a lot of things. You know children identify their life based on the things they have, they are very tangible beings in some ways. However, I find myself now, many blessed years out of my bare childhood with so much stuff that even when we cut our belongings in half you can't hardly notice a difference.

Despite our smaller home and less belongings I still find it difficult to keep the house clean, not everything in our home has a place to go and so we have clutter. I think we had that problem before in our dream home but with so much space it was easier to stick things in this closet or that cupboard without noticing how much crap we really had. I should have noticed that when we moved and it required 1.5 loads of the biggest U-haul truck they have!!!!

And please don't think I'm a pack rat because I really do give things away all the time. We've had 1 donation truck come to our new house to pick up things, 1 yard sale that made us a nice wad of cash, and now 3 full van load trips to the salvation army. We've gotten rid of so much and here I sit still with toys strewn everywhere, piles of stuff on my kitchen counter tops, our art center spilling over and our desks piled inches high with stuff (both important & unimportant) and our closets full to capacity. I secretly dream of figuring out how to create future projects of utilizing the closet spaces more efficiently and of remodeling the kitchen to add more useful storage. But I think it's time to be realistic.

Today I have the desire to go through and get rid of it all!! I have several large empty boxes that we just received full of wonderful surprises that we have yet to open and will need to find a home for in just a few days and ALL of our cabinets and closets are full. There is no where for anything else to go. I have plans and want to get on with updating this house so it can feel like our new dream home as we continue to live intentionally. I think I will not allow this project to overshadow Christmas and the season and our opportunities to spend intentional time with others over the next two weeks, but I would like to start the new year fresh & ready.

My e-mails will be something that I purge also as I've signed up for a few too many junk notifications but one came across my screen this morning that I find very helpful for this current desire.

You might want to be a Minimalist if...

1. you spend too much time cleaning?

2. you are trying to get out of debt?

3. there is too much stress in your life?

4. you would like more time in your day?

5. you are environmentally conscious?

6. you are frugal?

7. you enjoy financially supporting other causes?

8. there are things you value more than material possessions?

9. you are not afraid of change?

10. your life is too valuable to live like everyone else?

Well, I'm pleased to report that we aren't in debt other than our house and we are planning to pay that off before the scheduled 15 year note. But I'm disappointed to say I'm not nearly as frugal as I should be. I've allowed my whims and desires to take over me this Christmas. I've again gone overboard and bought too much, planned too much, crafted too much, even baked too much. All to enjoy the season. I dream right now about what a minimalist Christmas would look like and how if I had stuck to the plan of getting each child 3-4 small things (allowing their grandparents to spoil them) they'd still have more than most children could ever dream of. I worry a little this Christmas that even though they understand we are celebrating our King's entry into the world that they only associate that with lavish gifts that unintentionally overshadow Christ.

After I say that I think about how much I really wanted to go to Disney for Christmas next year. I think, or hope rather, a minimalist would say that's ok, but then no presents. Can I do that? I will have to take that challenge seriously and not sneakily purchase gifts while grocery shopping or justify it with they have to have something under the tree. They will have something under the tree, there are many people that love my children with gifts. Will it allow them to focus on the meaning of Christmas building a great memory in the process? Maybe as a family we will have people we can focus some of that energy and resources on to satisfy our desire to give and love this time of year. The options do seem endless.

Ultimately, in living a minimalist life I think we will begin to remove the unneeded things (something we are already trying to do with our activities and interactions). As a result, we should hope to find space to intentionally promote the things we most value and remove anything that distracts us from it. I guess it's time to start filling those big empty boxes now=D And who knows, maybe this will even convince Jason to clean off his desk (/laugh!).

There is a Time for Everything

So yesterday I had a bit more turmoil in myself going on than I ever prefer to experience. I responded negatively to negativity and that always turns out to be a recipe for disaster. This time was no different.

Like one would expect showing kindness can get more difficult when kindness is not received. The response should continue to be kindness and I admit I failed horribly at continuing to offer my kindness. I acted out in the flesh and in the end, feel no better off. For now our troubles have passed but I'm sure we'll revisit them again in due time.

Oddly enough as I was preparing for bed last night I was thinking, is this ok to have such an issue? Is it normal or healthy to have turmoil like this? How am I, a child of Christ supposed to behave, (action, reaction or non-action)? Well wouldn't you know, even in our most frustrated times God has something to say, if only we make sure we take the time to listen.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Now that I know there is a time for all of it, I must realize that there is also a time for the opposite. I get the feeling we should try and ensure it's equal time for both actions as it's very easy to accomplish the negative/destructive ones quickly but the positive/repairing ones require more work, energy and commitment.

Let's just hope that I can rely on God fully enough for the seemingly impossible to happen here=D

The Harvest is Plenty...

So everyday at 10:02 AM my cell phone chimes with a very generic alarm that reminds me it's 10:02 AM. My family decided a little over a year ago to join many others around the world in praying Luke 10:2 every morning at 10:02.

For a reference Luke 10:2 says:
"And He was saying to them, "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore beseech the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest."

Well, since I'm not very much into long, elaborate prayers and most days I am with my children at 10:02, I invented a simple child's prayer that we could all pray together. It took them a few days to memorize it & I continue to quiz them on it to ensure they understand what they are praying and why. But without fail, we join together and pray this every day.

Our Prayer:
The harvest is plenty, the workers are few, Jesus please help us, be just like you.

So that said, I will admit that on many occasions throughout the process I repeat the prayer with the children in a very non-challont manor. In recent months when I've felt overwhelmed I've even had a different conversation with God in letting him know that I don't really want to work the harvest right now. But today as I was out walking in the harvest field we have recently relocated to, with my beautiful little girl enjoying the season of Christmas and the gorgeous fall weather I realized that I'm not fully aware of all my harvest fields.

In my brain I know that every place is a harvest field, but in my heart I'm not connected to all of those harvest fields so they aren't actually mine to harvest in right? I mean, we work when we have the opportunities but if we do not have the connections then the opportunities don't seem to be there.

So now I pose the question, what about the harvest field you were born or adopted or married into? Is our family our harvest field to work in?? I know each of us Christ followers have a family member that either doesn't know Jesus, denies Jesus as Saviour or has strayed from His following at some point in our life. As a family member, it would seem we are primed to be the best worker for that particular harvest field. But why then do we continue to have so many believers with non-believing family members??

Is there a separation that is natural from the ones following Christ? Does Satan have such a hold on our beloved ones that he just tightens that grip ever so forcefully when Christ has won us over?

In the bible it talks about large numbers of people being converted to Christianity in terms regarding friends and family. So why is there a separation amongst friends and family today? Why did my uncles and father not all accept Christ when my Grandmother did? Why did they choose to not raise their children in Christ? Why do these said family members still not follow when their children find Him? ...and their Grandchildren?

Where does the disconnect of loving, following and serving Jesus come between sharing Him with the ones we love most? Even parents are not giving the greatest gift to their children! What is the deal?!

I'm sure we can find a way to blame it on our American culture, our rich country, our believed rights to freedom and selfishness, but the peace of Christ is supposed to transcend ALL understanding and if it does then we have no excuse... something this good MUST be shared. With anyone and everyone around us.

So then I find myself, the smallest fish in the largest ocean, trying to rescue all these other fish. Most of which are completely unaware that they need rescuing in the first place. So not knowing exactly the right place to start, I chase after the 'coolest' fish I can find. When that doesn't work out I move on to the 'hottest' fish in the ocean. Then to the 'athletic' ones. The 'smart' ones. The 'beautiful' ones. You get the idea right? The ones worth saving... ... ... ...

So where does that leave us?

Well, it leaves me in a heap on the ocean floor, engulfed by seaweed, incapable of seeing the light from the surface any longer. Still surrounded by the ones that I am obligated to be around and no closer to sharing my secret with any one.

Different

Well, once again it has been confirmed that I am different. I see the world differently, I look at people differently and often times I feel that I am mostly alone in my views. I think if I were to be defined most wold say I'm 'old fashioned'.

So big shocker here, I'm not a feminist. At least not what feminism is today. I know this might break my mom's heart but I'm not. I do not believe that men and women are the same. This seems to be upsetting to many individuals out there because they assume my saying they are not the same means that they are not "equal" which leads them to assume I mean that men are more important than women. So this is where we trick ourselves. Not Equal in 3rd grade math means that one number is greater and one number is lesser. However, later in school you learn that apples and oranges are not the same so you cannot compare them as equals because their qualities are different, thus making them different fruits and not the same fruit; they are Not Equal.

So the apples vs. oranges is the example I'm pushing for here when I talk about men and women being equal. I believe that men serve a certain role in the family and I believe that women serve an equally valid and important complimentary role in the family. I want to say this is true in society but women have fought so long for equality in society that we've actually lost gender roles in society. Woman's right to vote lead not only to a right to work out of the home, but an expectation to work out of the home while maintaining a perfectly manicured home and beautiful, well behaved, well educated children.

Not that this is impossible for everyone, but it certainly is for me. It stretches me too thin. As a wife and mother, regardless of my other responsibilities, paid or not, I am made to take care of my husband and children first. It is true that we've been blessed so I do not have to work outside of the home to make our ends meet. But it has cost us greatly to do so. We've moved far away from our upbringing and our family support to a much more affordable part of the country. We also make other financial decisions that help with this. For example, I cook, almost every meal our family eats. Eating out costs ALOT!

On occasion when I am feeling insecure about not being able to handle all my responsibilities I wonder how do other women do it? How do they hold a job, maintain a workout routine, have happy healthy children, a wonderful marriage, clean house, fun hobbies & a well fed family?

I guess I just have to believe one of two things. God made them differently so they can do all of those things and still be a rock star or they are sacrificing in unseen areas to maintain an image of perfection, success, completeness and/or superiority. Either way, it's tough to be different, maybe more tough than it is to be unequal.

Gym vs. Church

So one of my top 5 favorite things to do on this planet is go to the gym. I am at the gym almost everyday of the week (barring sick children). I go, spend time on me, with me, see some fun people, have some fun chats, do something great for myself and leave an hour later with muscles bulging, feeling fantastic from my sweat induced adrenaline rush.

Except for the sweat induced adrenaline part (depending on your denomination of course), it sort of sounds a lot like church doesn't it? This of course leads to the question:

What is the purpose of church?

Do we go every week to spend some time on me? To make sure I'm doing well? To see those fun individuals we only see at church? To find out if Tommy is potty training yet or if Sue is passing 7th grade? Are we trying to ensure our spiritual muscles get a great workout and then head off for the rest of the week, hoping to not atrophy too much? Why O why do we do this to ourselves?!

Do you know what happens when you only go to the gym once a week? Well, there's probably a lot of technical explanations of what occurs when you put your body through one rigorous workout a week and do nothing in between but the bottom line is nothing happens. Nothing. Sure if feels like something is happening. You go, lift some weights, run on the treadmill, maybe even do a step class but all you've done is started the engine. The car doesn't actually go anywhere if you don't shift to first gear and give her some gas. What you have accomplished here is a starting point. A beginning.

You leave the gym with this great workout under your belt and you are feeling great. You head out to eat because you're starving after such a great workout (also the same with church!) and you stop by your favorite restaurant. You probably consume as many calories as you burned but that's OK... you'll go back soon.

You wake up the next morning, really feeling it, your muscles are tender and sore, your joints are probably a little stiff. You plug along through your day and your body loosens up a little and you start to feel really good about what you've done for yourself, after all you can feel the difference. Waking up the next morning however, isn't as pleasant. Everyone knows that day 2 is the WORST! You can't move. You're so tight and so sore that you can't lift your arms to brush your teeth & instead of sitting down gracefully you fall into chairs. You definitely take the elevator that day and limit any and all physical activity hoping that the pain will soon subside.

Day 3 is easier but not as easy as it should have been. The best thing for a sore, stiff body is movement. So a little activity would have helped you feel like new on day 3... but here's to day 4. Now you're feeling just a little twinge here and there. Man, your workout was so awesome that it lasted you 4 days. That's incredible!!!

Day 5 and 6 pass without any thought of what happened on days 1-4 or what will happen on day 7. Then arrives day 7 and your realize, hey, I haven't been to the gym in a few days, I better get on it. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. You get the idea.

Well, drawing the direct parallel is a little silly I guess since I'm not proposing we all go to a Sunday morning style worship service every day. But instead let's draw a parallel to a different way of thinking about church and see if we get somewhere. After all, who wants to go to the gym year after year and see nothing change?? Isn't the point of the gym to get stronger, faster, slimmer, healthier, sexier??

(By the way, the answer is ABSOLUTELY!!!!)

So how would we be able to parallel church to a successful gym routine? Well, we begin by acknowledging that everybody should do some exercise everyday, which means going to the gym everyday or living a life that offers opportunities to workout constantly. That might look like someone who lifts weights on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Takes the children for bike rides on those same days. Maybe runs on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and does Yoga and flag football on Sundays just for fun. Wow! That sounds like a lot, but that individual is going to change their body. They are going to be getting leaner and stronger, faster and sexier as they continue to build on their workout routine.

The point is the more chances you have to move the more you get better at moving, the more you enjoy it and the more productive the movement is. Eventually that beginning, is so simple it's your warm up, and you move into such complexity for the rest of your workout that you don't have time to worry or gossip or slack off. You're wrapped up in the product of the moment, enjoying the experience of pushing your limits and seeing your limits expanded.

So putting this into practical terms for 'churchyness' might mean on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays you pray with your family or close friends for your neighbors and co-workers. You might also spend time cleaning up trash in your neighborhood or visiting a sick or lonely neighbor on those same days. Mondays might be a gathering for dinner and football with some 'unchurchy' friends. Wednesdays are a perfect day to invest in local children with some tutoring, mentoring, baking or playing. Fridays can be your day of rest, practicing a sabbath and enjoying those God has surrounded you with. Add a worship service and coffee with a friend to talk about your week and you've got a wonderfully organic 'churchy' week. It might not look like much, but it is life transforming!

So what's the point of this, you might be thinking to yourselves right now.

Well, we all know what time of year it is. It's the holidays. So hopefully this post didn't just make you feel guilty about all the junk you're about to put into your body over the next 8 weeks. Hopefully it helps you see that it's a great beginning. See right now, it's extra great to be at the gym. The people that are there on a regular basis are so enthusiastic about working out to make room for the goodies we'll all eat and to not gain weight this holiday season. But in 8 weeks the gym will be taken over by people hungry for a beginning.

New Year's Resolutions are front and center in January (the worst month of the year to be a gym rat in my opinion) but people are motivated! They come to the gym looking for something. They aren't sure what they are looking for but they know that it has something to do with feeling better about themselves, enjoying what they are doing and seeing a change for the better. Often times, they were looking in the wrong place, or didn't make the connection they needed to realize they were in the right place and as Valentine's Day rolls around they begin to give up or feel discouraged or just plain lose interest. Well, sometimes those new members continue to pay their dues and that keeps the gym functioning nicely but it's not actually the purpose of the gym. The gym has failed them. The gym has lost it's chance. Now it has to wait until next year, when the people are ready to begin again, and hope that it has better luck. Isn't there a better way???

Do you see the parallel here? We set up our churches to be attractional, to offer great things to the consumers in hopes of meeting their unknown needs. They come in knowing they need something but not really sure about what. We treat them as customers, hoping to gain their offerings and all the while are over looking the fact that we indeed know what they need. We spend so much time trying to figure out how to best offer our greatest discovery to them that we miss our opportunity. They might still come occasionally, helping the church look successful, but they didn't find what they were looking for so we've lost our opportunity. We have to wait until ... ... ... when??? Churches don't burst at the seems in January. There aren't many New Year's Resolutions that involve going to church (at least that I've heard of). So we sit, and we wait... or do we?

We can get active. Choose the missional lifestyle and go to where people are. Meet them where they are and spend time with them. Love them. Be with them. Experience life with them. Remember Jesus told us that wherever we go, He too will be there with us. Doing church this way may even allow people that didn't recognize they were looking for something to find it... to find Him.

So which is it, Gym or Church?

Church on Tuesday??

So some of you have had the wonderful privilege of listening to me throughout the last 2 years go on randomly about all kinds of things. Well one of those things in particular actually became an obsession. I had the brilliant idea of having church on Tuesday evening, everyone I've ever said it to looked at me like I was crazy but I thought it was ideal. I held onto that idea for a while and eventually stopped talking about it because no one seemed receptive to it.

Well, here we are, 4 months into this missionary thing and we are WAY TOO BUSY! But our Tuesday nights are the one night a week we make sure we are home, doing nothing, together. And so after a conversation with a pretty awesome individual today, he pointed out we needed a more organized 'church' gathering of our church (the five us currently) and I was super excited to realize we have the perfect day for that... TUESDAY NIGHT!!!!

So once again my weird obsessions are spirit lead and I am rewarded with the satisfaction of participating in something that I am not clever enough to have thought of in the first place. God really is very funny.

What are we doing for our first official church service this evening? Going to pray over our friends' new church plant worship space, in the rain=D

Not About Me

So I'm starting to notice that this blog is turning into a blog all about me... and that's SO not what it's supposed to be. But again I have another update, and we are hoping that once this week is over Jason will have time from work to rest, recoup and share about what's going on with him. You may think that's weird as we are partners in this ministry but it is very clear, based on where we spend our 'free' time, that our ministries are separate.

On the school front, just so you know, I'm mostly over it. The school is a great one, his teacher is fine, the Library is going well, everyone I interact with is nice (including the principal, cafeteria & office workers) but I'm still feeling the tug to home school so I'm trying to be sure it's a God thing & not a selfish thing. It does feel amazing to not be panicking while he is at school. I know he is safe & well cared for so I take comfort in that.

On to the most exciting thing to be happening since school has started. And I know what most of you are thinking so don't judge me yet=P I've gotten involved with the PTA & my job is to appreciate the teachers. This is an AWESOME JOB!!!! I get to do crafty things once a month or so & give them to the teachers and staff as thank yous for their awesome work. I think even if we end up homeschooling I will definitely want to continue this job (and if not at this school I will find another school that needs help with it=D). It's fun thinking of ways to make teachers feel special because they really are.

I've got my year planned out already, but if you've got great ideas I'd love to hear them. I could maybe fit a few in or start on my plan for next year.

Hope you are following Him today.