Gym vs. Church

So one of my top 5 favorite things to do on this planet is go to the gym. I am at the gym almost everyday of the week (barring sick children). I go, spend time on me, with me, see some fun people, have some fun chats, do something great for myself and leave an hour later with muscles bulging, feeling fantastic from my sweat induced adrenaline rush.

Except for the sweat induced adrenaline part (depending on your denomination of course), it sort of sounds a lot like church doesn't it? This of course leads to the question:

What is the purpose of church?

Do we go every week to spend some time on me? To make sure I'm doing well? To see those fun individuals we only see at church? To find out if Tommy is potty training yet or if Sue is passing 7th grade? Are we trying to ensure our spiritual muscles get a great workout and then head off for the rest of the week, hoping to not atrophy too much? Why O why do we do this to ourselves?!

Do you know what happens when you only go to the gym once a week? Well, there's probably a lot of technical explanations of what occurs when you put your body through one rigorous workout a week and do nothing in between but the bottom line is nothing happens. Nothing. Sure if feels like something is happening. You go, lift some weights, run on the treadmill, maybe even do a step class but all you've done is started the engine. The car doesn't actually go anywhere if you don't shift to first gear and give her some gas. What you have accomplished here is a starting point. A beginning.

You leave the gym with this great workout under your belt and you are feeling great. You head out to eat because you're starving after such a great workout (also the same with church!) and you stop by your favorite restaurant. You probably consume as many calories as you burned but that's OK... you'll go back soon.

You wake up the next morning, really feeling it, your muscles are tender and sore, your joints are probably a little stiff. You plug along through your day and your body loosens up a little and you start to feel really good about what you've done for yourself, after all you can feel the difference. Waking up the next morning however, isn't as pleasant. Everyone knows that day 2 is the WORST! You can't move. You're so tight and so sore that you can't lift your arms to brush your teeth & instead of sitting down gracefully you fall into chairs. You definitely take the elevator that day and limit any and all physical activity hoping that the pain will soon subside.

Day 3 is easier but not as easy as it should have been. The best thing for a sore, stiff body is movement. So a little activity would have helped you feel like new on day 3... but here's to day 4. Now you're feeling just a little twinge here and there. Man, your workout was so awesome that it lasted you 4 days. That's incredible!!!

Day 5 and 6 pass without any thought of what happened on days 1-4 or what will happen on day 7. Then arrives day 7 and your realize, hey, I haven't been to the gym in a few days, I better get on it. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. You get the idea.

Well, drawing the direct parallel is a little silly I guess since I'm not proposing we all go to a Sunday morning style worship service every day. But instead let's draw a parallel to a different way of thinking about church and see if we get somewhere. After all, who wants to go to the gym year after year and see nothing change?? Isn't the point of the gym to get stronger, faster, slimmer, healthier, sexier??

(By the way, the answer is ABSOLUTELY!!!!)

So how would we be able to parallel church to a successful gym routine? Well, we begin by acknowledging that everybody should do some exercise everyday, which means going to the gym everyday or living a life that offers opportunities to workout constantly. That might look like someone who lifts weights on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Takes the children for bike rides on those same days. Maybe runs on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and does Yoga and flag football on Sundays just for fun. Wow! That sounds like a lot, but that individual is going to change their body. They are going to be getting leaner and stronger, faster and sexier as they continue to build on their workout routine.

The point is the more chances you have to move the more you get better at moving, the more you enjoy it and the more productive the movement is. Eventually that beginning, is so simple it's your warm up, and you move into such complexity for the rest of your workout that you don't have time to worry or gossip or slack off. You're wrapped up in the product of the moment, enjoying the experience of pushing your limits and seeing your limits expanded.

So putting this into practical terms for 'churchyness' might mean on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays you pray with your family or close friends for your neighbors and co-workers. You might also spend time cleaning up trash in your neighborhood or visiting a sick or lonely neighbor on those same days. Mondays might be a gathering for dinner and football with some 'unchurchy' friends. Wednesdays are a perfect day to invest in local children with some tutoring, mentoring, baking or playing. Fridays can be your day of rest, practicing a sabbath and enjoying those God has surrounded you with. Add a worship service and coffee with a friend to talk about your week and you've got a wonderfully organic 'churchy' week. It might not look like much, but it is life transforming!

So what's the point of this, you might be thinking to yourselves right now.

Well, we all know what time of year it is. It's the holidays. So hopefully this post didn't just make you feel guilty about all the junk you're about to put into your body over the next 8 weeks. Hopefully it helps you see that it's a great beginning. See right now, it's extra great to be at the gym. The people that are there on a regular basis are so enthusiastic about working out to make room for the goodies we'll all eat and to not gain weight this holiday season. But in 8 weeks the gym will be taken over by people hungry for a beginning.

New Year's Resolutions are front and center in January (the worst month of the year to be a gym rat in my opinion) but people are motivated! They come to the gym looking for something. They aren't sure what they are looking for but they know that it has something to do with feeling better about themselves, enjoying what they are doing and seeing a change for the better. Often times, they were looking in the wrong place, or didn't make the connection they needed to realize they were in the right place and as Valentine's Day rolls around they begin to give up or feel discouraged or just plain lose interest. Well, sometimes those new members continue to pay their dues and that keeps the gym functioning nicely but it's not actually the purpose of the gym. The gym has failed them. The gym has lost it's chance. Now it has to wait until next year, when the people are ready to begin again, and hope that it has better luck. Isn't there a better way???

Do you see the parallel here? We set up our churches to be attractional, to offer great things to the consumers in hopes of meeting their unknown needs. They come in knowing they need something but not really sure about what. We treat them as customers, hoping to gain their offerings and all the while are over looking the fact that we indeed know what they need. We spend so much time trying to figure out how to best offer our greatest discovery to them that we miss our opportunity. They might still come occasionally, helping the church look successful, but they didn't find what they were looking for so we've lost our opportunity. We have to wait until ... ... ... when??? Churches don't burst at the seems in January. There aren't many New Year's Resolutions that involve going to church (at least that I've heard of). So we sit, and we wait... or do we?

We can get active. Choose the missional lifestyle and go to where people are. Meet them where they are and spend time with them. Love them. Be with them. Experience life with them. Remember Jesus told us that wherever we go, He too will be there with us. Doing church this way may even allow people that didn't recognize they were looking for something to find it... to find Him.

So which is it, Gym or Church?

Church on Tuesday??

So some of you have had the wonderful privilege of listening to me throughout the last 2 years go on randomly about all kinds of things. Well one of those things in particular actually became an obsession. I had the brilliant idea of having church on Tuesday evening, everyone I've ever said it to looked at me like I was crazy but I thought it was ideal. I held onto that idea for a while and eventually stopped talking about it because no one seemed receptive to it.

Well, here we are, 4 months into this missionary thing and we are WAY TOO BUSY! But our Tuesday nights are the one night a week we make sure we are home, doing nothing, together. And so after a conversation with a pretty awesome individual today, he pointed out we needed a more organized 'church' gathering of our church (the five us currently) and I was super excited to realize we have the perfect day for that... TUESDAY NIGHT!!!!

So once again my weird obsessions are spirit lead and I am rewarded with the satisfaction of participating in something that I am not clever enough to have thought of in the first place. God really is very funny.

What are we doing for our first official church service this evening? Going to pray over our friends' new church plant worship space, in the rain=D

Not About Me

So I'm starting to notice that this blog is turning into a blog all about me... and that's SO not what it's supposed to be. But again I have another update, and we are hoping that once this week is over Jason will have time from work to rest, recoup and share about what's going on with him. You may think that's weird as we are partners in this ministry but it is very clear, based on where we spend our 'free' time, that our ministries are separate.

On the school front, just so you know, I'm mostly over it. The school is a great one, his teacher is fine, the Library is going well, everyone I interact with is nice (including the principal, cafeteria & office workers) but I'm still feeling the tug to home school so I'm trying to be sure it's a God thing & not a selfish thing. It does feel amazing to not be panicking while he is at school. I know he is safe & well cared for so I take comfort in that.

On to the most exciting thing to be happening since school has started. And I know what most of you are thinking so don't judge me yet=P I've gotten involved with the PTA & my job is to appreciate the teachers. This is an AWESOME JOB!!!! I get to do crafty things once a month or so & give them to the teachers and staff as thank yous for their awesome work. I think even if we end up homeschooling I will definitely want to continue this job (and if not at this school I will find another school that needs help with it=D). It's fun thinking of ways to make teachers feel special because they really are.

I've got my year planned out already, but if you've got great ideas I'd love to hear them. I could maybe fit a few in or start on my plan for next year.

Hope you are following Him today.

Getting into the School!

Hello Readers!

So a very exciting day today. I went to the school, with Daniel & Grace, and we sat in the cafeteria and ate lunch with Alexander. He LOVED it. There were a few other parents that came as lunch went on. It's neat how they have the classes filter in one at a time 5 minutes apart to keep the lunch line flowing. I was disappointed that the majority of the children walked through the lunch line with pizza, doritos, canned peachs, and milk on their tray. Not nearly as nutritious as the lunch menu sent home at the beginning of the year appeared to be. I need to find that menu and find out what the other options to eat were, because I remember seeing lots of green salad, green veggies, fish & lean meats even on the schedule.

Anyway, it went well and my job this year is to learn how to love the teachers that spend their day loving the students. They all seem so nice, patient, loving and good with the children, (and 5 weeks into school I think that's good!). So that is the value of the PTA that I've been looking for. I'm e-mailing the PTA ladies today to find out how I can help with teacher appreciation=)

Also, I was notified that they found a place I can volunteer!!! I get to be in the library. Doing all kinds of helpful things for the librarian. I'm excited, but not really sure I'll be good at the things she'll need me to help with. I already told her I'd need instruction in the beginning, I hope she's patient with me, it's been a LONG time since I've been in school=P

So all in all, we are doing well and getting underway. I'm pleased that God is changing my heart. I love it when he does that.

...

Well, I posted the last post a few hours before I was allowed to pick up Alexander from school. When we went and got him we waited in carpool (which is a horribly painful process as 100 SUVs & vans wait in a line that holds about 5 spots with 50 little ninja cars weaving in and out of our big fatties as we wait for the children to come outside & identify their vehicle and get escorted to the vehicle. and then we all have to figure out how to get out of there!). Anyway, Xander had been desperate to see how cars have pools at the front of the school since he's never seen a pool there. So I told him we'd pick him up at carpool. The four of us in the vehicle were anxious to never participate in carpool again as Xander excitedly said, "we HAVE to do that nine more times!"

So all this to say his teacher walked him to the car she stopped to have the first conversation we've had in person since she started teaching Alexander. She was notifying me that he is being involved in a pilot program by special invitation/recommendation of herself. The program is enrichment clusters. I don't know how to explain the program other than they get to pick a club that they will skip class for and participate in 6 times over a 10 week period coming later this semester. This seems like a very cool thing, 5 kindergartens were chosen to participate with the rest of the 1st-6th grade students to see if Kindergarteners can handle it... so him being selected says that the teacher recognizes he is, well, the way he is=)

This is a nice opportunity (Jason seems positive it's an answer to prayer & I should believe he belongs in school there, but we are talking about 6 hours over a period of 350 school hours so well see, again, only time will tell) .The gifted program is hopefully starting next week. That will hopefully bring us more news... he's also still sad about missing too many questions to go to 1st grade, so now he's talking about just going on to 2nd. I guess we have lots of options=p

A Torn Heart

It is a difficult position to be in to have a heart so torn. Is it possible to follow both desires to the fullest or is there too much competition between the two? Are they actually different or is the brain getting in the way of the heart? Let me explain a little.

Our journey started so long ago that I actually find it difficult to pinpoint a start or beginning. But we've been desperately following Jesus and looking for Him so we can continue following Him since we began down this less traveled road. Along the road we've encountered so many people that have helped us find Him again (or realize that we've lost sight of Him and we weren't even looking for Him). It's been very much a rocky road to be on. Never knowing for sure if we are really heading in the right direction.

At some crossroads we would see the choice to follow our desires or to follow Christ's desires. How I wish we could say we chose Christ more often, but I must report that it is much more often our own. Early in our journey we didn't necessarily see our desires as different. As we continued our travel and began adding children we met some extraordinary people that showed us so much light we are still learning from them. These divine encounters are really an awesome thing!

Sometimes these encounters bring up very scary negative feelings and as you explore those feelings, you might discover there to be a war raging in the darkness inside of you. As light shines in the darkness it hurts and the more light you let in the more healing occurs and the more you grow closer & deeper in Christ. The more you allow this process to occur the more your heart becomes pure, full of Christ and His desires. It is a very freeing and fun, albeit tough, position to be in because you become totally aware of your worldly desires and are convicted.

Like the desire to want a big fancy SUV, when a very reasonable, reliable, ugly van will do. It's SO hard to not want things of this world or to take for granted those things. But as you continue to seek Him you realize that those things don't matter. So you empower your friends or family to help make the tough decision so you are not swayed and swept up into your worldly desires. (well, at least, that's what I do). But I've digressed...

Other times, those divine encounters plant a seed that will not begin to sprout until years later or offer confirmation or tie together all those loose ends, helping to make a clear path. And occasionally something revealed to you in one of those instances cannot be removed from your mind. No matter how hard you try to move the opposite direction. It is at that point that it becomes confusing to me and we enter my current dilemma.

When we started this portion of our journey to be missionaries in Richardson, we assumed a large portion of our role would be at the elementary school our children should attend from Kindergarten through Sixth grade. We were (and to some extent are still) totally unsure of what it means to be a missionary in Richardson and what our role entails. We are certain of loving children and people that cross our paths. We have a few points of focus where we already have relationships with others and have regular contact.

First there is work, I work by both watching a beautiful baby girl & at Daniel's preschool. I have a job of loving those children. I cherish them by filling in the gaps; empowering them to discover, create, love and be. I have this general passion for children, so we figured that would carry over to the children at Alexander's school. And it is to an extent. But my vision is clouded, my passion is muted. (we'll come back to that in a minute)

Second there is the gym. This is my me time. I've been going to the same gym for 4 years now and I LOVE every minute of being there. I have been happy to spend time there everyday over the last 4 years and speak to no one. But recognizing my calling of being a missionary I've begun talking to people & taking a true interest in others that spend time there. I'm learning a lot from them and am getting support for my fitness and weight loss goals. I am inspired regularly by the people there and hope to one day be in a position to inspire others.

Third there are my friends. This is one of those things that is very much a Love/Hate relationship. Some of my best friends (those that I grew up with) are far away and so I've been forced to make new friends. They are wonderful people, but the more friends you have the more time you want to spend with them, doing things with them, enjoying their company, experimenting with new things or experiencing and learning about their passions. Either way for an introvert like me, it is very exhausting. I have lots of people I miss, want to talk to, have coffee with, give hugs to and just love, I have joy in doing all of those things, I just wish it gave me more energy like extroverts seem to experience after human interaction=)

So back to the muted passion for children. I am feeling very torn, because my brain says school is where I should be passionate because my son attends that school and there must be need of time, energy and love there for the children. But as I've tried to find a fit I've met resistance and am very confused about why. Not just resistance from the school (which is happening) but resistance on my part about where I should be putting in the time at the school . At the same time I continue to remember a morning I spent almost 2 years ago with a mother of 4 that was homeschooling her children and her reasons and love of the experience.

I've also found that my heart is saying, this isn't where my son belongs. He doesn't fit there and I don't believe it's what is best for him. So I struggle with trying to be involved and at the same time hating the school for holding my son hostage. I don't like the school system, I don't like that he's not challenged and encouraged to excel beyond his current abilities, I fear he'll lose his love of learning, I fear he won't continues to be happy with the small rewards the teacher offers for good behavior, I fear he'll learn to settle for mediocrity, I fear he'll not be given ample opportunities to explore his passions and find his calling, I fear his curiosity will subside and his creativity will diminish. All of these things have caught me off guard.

My concerns before school started were how is the teacher going to keep him from being distracting in school, what is he going to do while the other children learn the ABCs, are the other children going to be nice, will he have lots of parent teacher conferences. Those kinds of things, but I realize that those things don't matter. At least not to me. But that is apparently all that matter within the school system. As long as he conforms and isn't causing problems, it is considered a success, for both the student, teacher & school.

So I'm torn. Is my brain right, send him to public school like all the other children, continue trying to volunteer and just hope for the best? (After all our God is bigger than school!) Or is my heart right, keep him home & school him ourselves, taking help from the local homeschool network and allow for him to greatly excel, discover passions that wouldn't normally be offered to him and capitalize on the opportunities set before me to serve children with my children (both at this elementary school and others)? I think back to the "foot that did defeat" the 12 inches between the heart and the brain, I wish I could remember the complete meaning of that message in hopes it might offer some clarity.

What's a mommy to do?? What's a follower of Christ to do??

School is in session

Well, School has started and it actually appears to be getting MORE difficult for our family as we try to adjust to school life. Rising before 7am isn't going well, the boys being apart for 7 hours isn't going well, me missing him so much & just desiring to home school him until he's 35!, well, you can say that's not going well either=p

The school is very strict on some of their policies (partly for safety and partly because it's the beginning of the school year) and so I haven't actually been allowed in the school yet. But I am in the process of getting cleared so I can volunteer there on a weekly basis. I'm not sure exactly what I will be doing but I'm really hoping to start building relationships with the teacher, counselor and office staff to start with. It's difficult even to say more than hello & thank you currently and I so desire more. I'll continue to persevere and worst case Daniel, Grace & I will become lunch room regulars and we'll get to know the lunch room people=P

Here's hoping this transition will start to get easier soon.

P.S. On the positive side we have met a few more neighbors, some even have school age children. I hope that as the weather continues to get nicer we'll be allowed more opportunities to meet our neighbors... and eventually be the ones creating those said opportunities!