Thursday, December 2, 2010


Well, once again it has been confirmed that I am different. I see the world differently, I look at people differently and often times I feel that I am mostly alone in my views. I think if I were to be defined most wold say I'm 'old fashioned'.

So big shocker here, I'm not a feminist. At least not what feminism is today. I know this might break my mom's heart but I'm not. I do not believe that men and women are the same. This seems to be upsetting to many individuals out there because they assume my saying they are not the same means that they are not "equal" which leads them to assume I mean that men are more important than women. So this is where we trick ourselves. Not Equal in 3rd grade math means that one number is greater and one number is lesser. However, later in school you learn that apples and oranges are not the same so you cannot compare them as equals because their qualities are different, thus making them different fruits and not the same fruit; they are Not Equal.

So the apples vs. oranges is the example I'm pushing for here when I talk about men and women being equal. I believe that men serve a certain role in the family and I believe that women serve an equally valid and important complimentary role in the family. I want to say this is true in society but women have fought so long for equality in society that we've actually lost gender roles in society. Woman's right to vote lead not only to a right to work out of the home, but an expectation to work out of the home while maintaining a perfectly manicured home and beautiful, well behaved, well educated children.

Not that this is impossible for everyone, but it certainly is for me. It stretches me too thin. As a wife and mother, regardless of my other responsibilities, paid or not, I am made to take care of my husband and children first. It is true that we've been blessed so I do not have to work outside of the home to make our ends meet. But it has cost us greatly to do so. We've moved far away from our upbringing and our family support to a much more affordable part of the country. We also make other financial decisions that help with this. For example, I cook, almost every meal our family eats. Eating out costs ALOT!

On occasion when I am feeling insecure about not being able to handle all my responsibilities I wonder how do other women do it? How do they hold a job, maintain a workout routine, have happy healthy children, a wonderful marriage, clean house, fun hobbies & a well fed family?

I guess I just have to believe one of two things. God made them differently so they can do all of those things and still be a rock star or they are sacrificing in unseen areas to maintain an image of perfection, success, completeness and/or superiority. Either way, it's tough to be different, maybe more tough than it is to be unequal.

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