Monday, March 21, 2011


It's difficult to find your niche & fulfill your mission. Especially when that mission requires doing things so far outside your comfort zone you wonder what in the world He's thinking! Well, couple that with general responsibilities of work, home life, raising children, keeping up with the secondary activities of all said responsibilities and then trying to carve out time for yourself with both hobbies you love (or have always wanted to try) and spending time with God. On top of that add the ridiculous level of expectation we women tend to place on ourselves, CRAZY! When you do get the chance to lift your head and take a breath you really begin to wonder, why in the world did He create the earth like this? He could have easily given us a 30 hour day or a 13 month year. But it's my guess that had He given us more we would do everything in our power to stuff it full as can be and then wonder why He didn't give us more.

Our human nature seems to be insatiable and consumeristic. I realize as I say that, it's probably an American thing and not a human thing, but then again, just because others in the world go without doesn't mean they don't always want more and wouldn't constantly strive for it. It's just that their drive is currently driven by life necessities. Once those are met it's all about the extras! (Again I say this as a very naive American).

So back to the overwhelmed feeling. How do we let ourselves get that way?

I remember way back when Jason & I were deciding we would move to Texas, we agreed we needed a break, a reprieve as we had gotten so caught up in the California way of life we needed to stop for a bit, figure out how to slow down then proceed cautiously. And we were successful, for a few months at least. We continue every few months (occasionally longer) to look at one another and have to sit down and talk things through, figure out where we are, where we should be, where God wants us and what our time and energy and resources should be devoted to.

Well, back when we served a congregation in a building it was easy to get overbooked and overwhelmed with the plethora of opportunities readily available to serve and love others. So you'd figure now that we don't have a congregation like that we'd be free to take more time and have more quality ministry. However, when you step outside the building you find the whole world. If you thought it was easy to stretch yourself too thin inside four walls with a ceiling and a floor, then you might want to take a chair with you when you step outside. Really, every individual you see is an opportunity to share the Love of Christ and as a lover of Christ you have the responsibility of sharing His love with everyone you come across.

Already I'm overwhelmed just thinking about our general idea of our mission. So let's break it down to baby steps. Those are small and manageable right?

Just for fun, think about the last time you saw a baby walk. Theirs steps are awkward, uneven, tedious, difficult, sometimes so tiny and unpredictable 4 steps has them moving backwards or in the opposite direction of their goal. They are constantly falling and you never know when it's coming, sometimes they can keep it together when it looks like they'll never make it to their destination and other times they are doing so well and find themselves catapulted forward and look up at you with tears and blood gushing.

The perfect visual of where I am right now. My head is swimming and my heart is pounding and I'm just treading water. I have lots of ideas of what I believe God offers me as opportunities to serve and love others. I have lots of goals for myself. I have big dreams for my family. All of these things good and yet all of these things cannot be accomplished of the same quality.

So the questions for you this time:
1) How do you decide what is most important?
2) How do you become a people person when you aren't?
3) How do you follow through and keep yourself in check?

8am Sunday Morning...

I was running.

I ran past 6 churches & 2 home improvement stores... there were more vehicles in the home improvement parking lots than in all the church parking lots combined. Granted it was earlier than church services usually start (though Mass was happening at one of the churches) but follow me for a second. Getting up early on Sunday morning to focus on improving oneself clearly isn't out of the question for a large population of Richardson/Garland Area residents.

Granted we can make all kinds of arguments for clearly reasonable excuses of not being at church on Sunday and instead at the home improvement store. But I think I'll just say it out loud. Being inconvenienced isn't as valid a reason people aren't going to church as we church goers would like to think it is. There's got to be more to why they choose not to participate and we'll never know unless we get to know them and find out first hand why.

So what do you do about it?

Well... What are you doing about it??

Thursday, March 3, 2011

True Humility

So I've thought (as long as I've known enough to think about it) that I'm not a very prideful individual and that I'm fairly humble. Well, that is compared to a lot of other individuals that I've interacted with over the years. Then I have those few saints in my life who have achieved such amazing levels of selflessness and humility that I put them in a different category from myself because, well, it seems that their spiritual gift from God is being able to overcome all pride and selfishness and humility. They have attained a certain level of understanding and accomplishment to set an example for the rest of us. However, what I tend to do with that example is ooo and ahhh over it and occasionally remember at the right moment in time but never does it workout that it completely transforms me.

Which for me is difficult to say right now as I prefer to learn lessons from others' experiences when I can. Why should I suffer the same fate or go through the same drama/trama to grow? Well, this is one of many exceptions because I apparently thought I had already arrived. But I had a conversation this week with someone and I was spending the entire time of the conversation in turmoil. It was a moment I could both speak truth and love into this person's life and I failed. I spent the entire conversation holding ME back instead of following the Spirit.


I am aware we have a forgiving and mericiful and graceful God, but sometimes I'm so frustrated by my own thickness. My Grandmas always told me I was thick. I just never understood why that was a bad thing until now. So I'm sure I'll have another opportunity soon to follow the Spirit and I hope (as I'm now committing to pray for true humility) that I will be less selfish and prideful and more properly prepared to speak truth and love.